we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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