Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
