I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize