we have officially lost it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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