he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
