worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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