I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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