I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Banned from zoo.
Again?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
