i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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