Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
