I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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