he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
