I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
