First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
