The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
