Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
