I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
