apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
