Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
