I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
