His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Im part way to drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
