just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
