if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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