Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Randomize