Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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