Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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