I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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