Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
