"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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