I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
