Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
