This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
