i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm too high and old for this...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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