I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
