Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
