No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
