found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
