I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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