glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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