Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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