I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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