Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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