I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
