I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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