he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
