That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
