Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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