He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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