I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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