Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
