i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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