Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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