He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
