WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need a beard to bite.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
