I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
