Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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