All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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