i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
