A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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