Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
