i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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