I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just google imaged poop.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
