I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
