I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
