I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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