For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
did i just pee glitter
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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