I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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