Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
