I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
