i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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