Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  break up sex still means we will always be broken up.

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  (248): break up sex still means we will always be broken up. http://tfl.nu/dud5
  Replies (1) Good night (1086) Bad night (1300)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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  (402): I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over. http://tfl.nu/b7hl
  Replies (62) Good night (8208) Bad night (1079)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..

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  (432): So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone.. http://tfl.nu/o0ep
  Replies (18) Good night (772) Bad night (4433)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

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  (678): he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with. http://tfl.nu/6t6o
  Replies (17) Good night (4647) Bad night (951)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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  (989): you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out http://tfl.nu/f2m2
  Replies (24) Good night (1109) Bad night (5850)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things

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  (847): We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things http://tfl.nu/jwjz
  Replies (7) Good night (3404) Bad night (1092)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.

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  (813): We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again. http://tfl.nu/6j6o
  Replies (43) Good night (2625) Bad night (5124)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (7065) Bad night (1264)
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  (805): View more from California

  Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.

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  (805): Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gnxv
  Replies (0) Good night (574) Bad night (854)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...

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  (651): Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad... http://tfl.nu/vlpv
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (1014)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime

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  (302): I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime http://tfl.nu/7bjc
  Replies (11) Good night (478) Bad night (884)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.

  (1-714): View more from California

  DAD WTF

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  (714): I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning. (1-714): DAD WTF http://tfl.nu/ld6i
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (631)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you

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  (404): That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you http://tfl.nu/c98c
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (160)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone

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  (513): You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone http://tfl.nu/l9nc
  Replies (0) Good night (210) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.

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  (304): I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried. http://tfl.nu/fuad
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (131)

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