Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Bring me that man meat
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.