Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless http://tfl.nu/a84j
  Replies (20) Good night (5115) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again? http://tfl.nu/cny9
  Replies (13) Good night (925) Bad night (5632)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist http://tfl.nu/hzre
  Replies (51) Good night (24562) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements. http://tfl.nu/qg9u
  Replies (9) Good night (4999) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you http://tfl.nu/rxgp
  Replies (23) Good night (1545) Bad night (4232)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party http://tfl.nu/gmt6
  Replies (10) Good night (6001) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world http://tfl.nu/o1nx
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (3155)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb
  Replies (26) Good night (11696) Bad night (1747)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable. http://tfl.nu/wu9y
  Replies (20) Good night (3638) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it. http://tfl.nu/0zar
  Replies (11) Good night (2774) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Crying in the liquor store is not a good look

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Crying in the liquor store is not a good look http://tfl.nu/r8cz
  Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/nw7i
  Replies (10) Good night (983) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope. http://tfl.nu/g0eb
  Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls. http://tfl.nu/kdxo
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (335)

Randomize