You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just sent this text using only my big toe
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.