get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is her dick bigger than yours?